After careful consideration and a meticulous weighing of pros and cons, I’ve come to the decision Reno pub crawls really should be considered a sport all onto themselves. Personally, I’ve been waiting my whole life, training diligently, preparing accordingly for this exact moment. I can’t tell you how many margaritas I’ve powered through just to be able to compete in this, the largest bar crawl scene in the whole U-S-of-A!​

But I shan’t compete in these challenges alone. Your mission, should you choose to accept (and I heartily recommend you do), is to attend every crawl and visit every bar on the crawl’s list — even if it takes us all night! Or at the very least, as long as it takes until they kick us out — every single one!

And just like with any good team, spirit is key. For you, that means dressing accordingly. Whether it’s the Zombie Crawl or the ever Irish-loving Leprechaun Crawl, dress up. And don’t forget to buy each event’s crawl cup, because drinking out of your hands will only get you so far, my friends.

Remember my comrades, just like in any nationally recognized sport, water is essential, and I will have no quitters. So hydrate, hydrate until it hurts Reno! If you need an outline, it should look something like this: margarita (or drink of choice), margarita, water, margarita, water, margarita, margarita, water, water. Or really any variation of the above.

Next on the agenda, how to best prepare for these immensely popular and upcoming crawls. I give you my incredibly important, irreplaceable and invaluable take on them all! Ahem:

Reno Zombie Crawl: In a world of heart-pumping, fluid movement and rosy cheeked humans, here so enters the undead this Oct. 24. These abominations of the underworld often are limbless, uncoordinated, slightly rotting and adore Michael Jackson. Cheeky little buggers. What is better than spending a night with these fine folks than joining them in a “Thriller” rendition under the Reno Arch? Answer: $3 drink specials. This crawl is listed by USA Today as “one of the 10 best costumed Halloween parties in the U.S.” No surprise there. First of all, the crawl is in Reno, but with more than 20,000 zombies, 50 participating bars and more than 100 drink specials, it was a no-brainer. No zombie pun intended … or was it?

ComiCrawl: Superhero fans, mass assemble! Just kidding. But do orderly situate yourselves in a nice and reasonable fashion in downtown Reno on Nov. 21 as it gets ready to transition itself into the Gotham, Krypton or Xavier’s School for the Gifted you’ve been dreaming of or, at the very least, as it transitions into the official after-party of the Wizard World Comic Con. I do have to say though, when looking at my Home Sweet Dome at night and in all its green glory, it does look like something out of Gotham, no? Or the Wizard of Oz. Whichever scene you are going for.

Santa Crawl:  I’ll be there with bells on this Dec. 12 in downtown Reno. I do have to say, while the other crawls are an absolute blast, there is something quite special about seeing thousands of tipsy Santas parading around with what the bearded jolly guy gave them. It’s magical, if I do say so myself. Also, unlike other crawls, this crawl benefits local charities. So let’s drink for a good Claus, the Support the Santa Claus cause. Just a friendly reminder, while dressing spicy for this event is fun, December is cold, which means snow, dropped temperatures and frosty shivers. So maybe pack some extra Santa hats and mittens.

Valentine’s Pajama Crawl: Come onesies, come snuggies, come nighties, come all on Feb. 13! It’s a night you have to put zero thought on what you’re going to wear.  I often have missed my younger years when wearing a fantastic-looking onesie was adored and applauded by passers-by. As I got older, I realized sadly the same reaction in people seeing a grown man dressed head to toe in a one-button snuggie would receive a completely different reaction. But not on this night my friends! Go crazy!

Reno Leprechaun Crawl: Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day early on March 12-13 as Reno paints the town green. While this crawl is one of the new additions to the crawl scene, it is not a small one — unlike the Leprechauns for which it is named. Because there are few people out there who know how to party like the Irish do, this crawl is a definite must.

As always, my fine folks, keep it classy and don’t drink and drive. My Home Sweet Dome, the Silver Legacy Resort Casino, always welcomes crawlers with open arms and a heavy discount on hotel rooms.

The Renossance Man keeps an eye on what’s happening in Reno via his headquarters at the Silver Legacy Resort Casino.

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