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Night in the Country 2016 takes place July 21-23, and chances are you already have your favorite pair of boots and your best cowboy hat ready to go. I'm certainly not one to provide style advice, but what I do have is a particular set of skills to help you get a handle on the logistics of the event. Now you can spend your time remembering the lyrics to every song you hear.

This is what you need to know to survive.

Where am I going?

Philosophical conundrums aside, the event is being held at the Lyon County Fairgrounds in Yerington, Nevada. I have provided a map below, because I care about you (and because Pokemon Go has awoken my love of maps). VIP entrances (for those with Club 149 or VIP Credentials) are located north of the concert venue. All other credential holders will enter at the south end of the concert hall.

Where am I sleeping?

Assuming you will be sleeping at some point during your time in the country, RV and tent camping is available on sight, but you must have valid credentials in order to do so. Get them here. Any vehicle you bring must fit in a 20-by-50-foot campsite, so leave the stretch limos at home (or let me borrow it for the weekend). Organizers are only allowing one steering wheel and one trailer per campsite, so make it easy on yourself and carpool if at all possible. Not only is it good for the environment, but searching for multiple cars in the parking lot is going to be about as easy as finding a needle in a stack of needles.

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Where am I drinking?

If you plan on drinking during the festival, make sure you have your ID with you. It also helps if you have it easily accessible. No one wants to be that guy holding up the drinking line because you insist on showing your ID like an F.B.I. badge. Don't be that guy. In order to purchase alcohol at the event, you must be wearing a wristband. (No band on your wrist, no cup in your fist.) This goes for people of all ages.

If you are caught providing alcohol to underage attendees, or are an underage attendee caught drinking alcohol, you will be escorted from the festival and will face criminal charges. So don't do it.

What am I bringing?

I'm going to be honest with you, the answer is not much. The essentials are enough including clothes (which are actively encouraged), sunscreen (because while people might be crazy about your farmer's tan, they won't be as crazy if you are running around looking like a lobster) and lawn chairs (although no lounge chairs, foot-rest style chairs or blankets will be allowed).

Here is a list of things you can't bring. To help you memorize it, I recommend setting it to the tune of the Billy Joel classic "We Didn't Start the Fire": Coolers, food, beverages, alcohol, weapons, video cameras or any other recording devices, pets, ATVs, laser pointers, wagons or chair caddies.

More on the laws of the land here.

Takeaway

Night in the Country has all the potential to be one of the highlights of your summer, just make sure you are smart about it. I know you might be worried about looking lame in front of your friends, but adhering to the laws of the land is going to make your life much easier. No one wants to be stressed out at a music festival. It defeats the point. If you want to be stressed out, just stay home and turn on some 2016 presidential campaign coverage.

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